Woman Shuts Down BF’s Demands: “Didn’t Go To Med School To Be A Live-In Maid”
Having certain expectations—especially unrealistic or unfair ones—can be seriously detrimental in a relationship. For example, expecting one partner to always cover the bill can lead to fights, as can expecting your significant other to do more around the house without having mutually agreed to it.
The latter is what happened to this redditor’s girlfriend. The netizen wanted her to take on a larger chunk of the chores now that she was unemployed and “living her best life”, but she didn’t think it was fair.
Seeking to delve deeper into the importance of sharing chores and other responsibilities, Bored Panda discussed the topic with a clinical psychologist, author, TEDˣ speaker, and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Scroll down to find her thoughts in the text below.
In a recent interview with Bored Panda, Dr. Monica Vermani pointed out that when someone is transitioning from one job to another, they are often dealing with many emotions, including anxiety around change—whether the change is voluntary or involuntary. “In short, transitions can be tough,” she summed up. “A partner temporarily taking a break between jobs is not the time to take the opportunity to offload chores and rearrange household responsibilities; especially if that partner is already shouldering an unequal share of the household and family tasks and responsibilities.
“A healthy relationship involves having compassion for a partner when they are in transition. When an individual acts without compassion for their partner to lighten their own responsibilities, they can seriously damage trust and intimacy,” the expert added.
While certain responsibilities, such as financial matters or good old chores, are usually not the most romantic topics to discuss, they should definitely be talked about, as not dividing up the load can lead to misunderstandings, fights, or even resentment. As a matter of fact, money and chores are both among the five most common reasons couples—in the US, at least—fight, according to a YouGov survey. (The rest of the top five comprises a certain tone of voice, communication styles, and family relationships.)
For couples struggling with dividing responsibilities at home, Dr. Vermani advised setting an intention together to share the burden of household chores as well as the mental load. “Together, come up with a plan that works. Then communicate concerns regularly,” she suggested.
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